


Repairing A Heart

by canthelpmyselves



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Sex, Leonard Snart Lives, M/M, Original Characters - Freeform, Post-Break Up, Regret, Rip Hunter Is An Asshole, anger issues, casual hookups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-12 11:32:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17466773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canthelpmyselves/pseuds/canthelpmyselves
Summary: Cold and Flash used to be Len and Barry. Then a time traveling madman convinced Len that Barry would be better off without him. After dying and being returned to life, Len is determined to correct the biggest mistake of his life. If only Barry didn't hate him, now.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hello, Scarlet.”

Len wasn’t sure what to expect when he stepped into STAR Labs along with the rest of the Legends crew. It had been almost two years in this timeline, since he last saw Barry Allen, and that meeting hadn’t been particularly pleasant.

_“You... don’t want me here?”_

_“Nothing personal, but I’ve kind of lost interest.”_

_“You don’t mean that.”_

_“Look, kid, it’s been fun, but we both knew this was temporary.”_

_“...I didn’t.”_

_“Then you’re more naive than I thought. What? You thought this was some grand romance? We’ve been fucking. That’s it.”_

_“Please, Len, don’t do this.”_

_“Don’t get clingy, Flash. We’re adults. Act like it.”_

_“I love you,” Barry whispered._

_“You’ll get over it.”_

It had broken his heart to say those words to Barry. To lie through his teeth and watch as the eyes of the man he loved, who apparently loved him back, fill with pain just before he sped out of the safe house. And why lie? Because he let an asshole from the future convince him that it was for the best. Convince him that Barry was destined to be with Iris West. Destined for a greatness that would be tarnished, maybe even destroyed, if he stayed. The Flash was too good for some broken down, emotionally stunted, physically scarred thief.

Over the past twenty-two months, three days and seventeen hours of Barry’s life (and several lifetimes in the time stream for him), he had plenty of time to hate himself for hurting Barry. But now he had a chance to fix that. He had sort of died. His mind had been trapped in the time stream. It had taught him so much. Like the fact that Rip Hunter was a bastard. 

Hunter hadn’t cared about saving the world. He just wanted revenge on Vandal Savage and the Time Masters. He was the one who convinced the Time Masters to turn Mick into Chronos, long before he recruited the Legends to ‘fix’ history. He was the one who made sure that first nuclear weapon reached Savage’s hands. He had been playing both sides off one another, an intricate chess game, just to destroy those he blamed for his wife’s death. Hunter hadn’t cared one bit about the chaos he left in his wake. Like Carter dying, the torture Ray and Mick suffered in the gulag, him sacrificing himself to save the team. Hunter had played them all. If he wasn’t already dead thanks to Damian Dahrk, Len would have gladly iced him personally.

Luckily, Palmer had discovered that Len wasn’t truly dead thanks to something called Flashpoint. Barry changing the past had tweaked the time stream, allowing the sensors in Palmer’s suit to register his essence, or something. He hadn’t really understood the science behind it all. They had, in a way, resurrected him. They had Gideon remake his body and found a man called Dr. Fate who could draw his essence back out of the time stream and place it back where it belonged. His first corporeal thought was to get back to Barry. No one objected. They had their reasons, and he had his.

They all said the same thing. After the Dominators, the Flash had changed. He was harder. More distant. He was at odds with his team and family. More aggressive with foes. Mick admitted that the kid actually worried him a little, so willing to just sacrifice himself during an alien invasion. Looking at Barry now, he could see it. He was colder. Emotionless.

Barry walked across the cortex at human speed. His beautiful green eyes swept over the rest of the group, ignoring Len’s greeting. Then he turned to Caitlin, who was watching him with resignation. “You said there’s a problem.”

Iris, Snow and Ramon glanced at the Legends before looking back at Barry. “The Legends have a mission they need a speedster for,” Ramon said, shooting Len and Mick fearful glances.

“What kind of mission?” asked Barry, focusing his attention on Sara.

“A rogue speedster in the future,” Len drawled. He carefully watched Barry turn to him, searching for clues as to how the younger man was feeling, what he was thinking. Either Barry had gotten a lot better at hiding his emotions, or he was unaffected by Len’s presence.

Sara shot Len a quick frown before stepping forward. “He’s causing a time anomaly in 2031. None of us are fast enough to take him down, and his suit seems resistant to both the cold gun and the heat gun. Not even Ray’s photon cannons slowed him down much.”

Barry gave a sharp nod, turning to look at Ramon. “Well, I’ll talk to Wally and Jesse and see who wants to go.”

It was Len’s turn to freeze for a moment. Wally or Jesse? Absolutely not! “Delegating, kid?”

Barry’s hands twitched but he continued to avoid looking at him. “I have a city to protect,” he said, his tone as cold as Len’s gun. He turned to look at Sara, voice softening slightly. “Wally is almost as fast as I am. Jesse, she thinks fast on her feet. Both of them are incredible speedsters.”

Sara tilted her head as she studied Barry. “Then both of them can protect Central City while you’re gone. We need you, Barry. Your experience. You’ve worked with most of us before. You know how we do things. We don’t have time to break in a new speedster.”

“You time travel,” Barry pointed out. “You have nothing but time.”

Len smirked and began walking toward the exit. “Let’s go. Any speedster will do.” He watched Barry from the corner of his eye as he moved past him. The green eyes he still loved so much flashed with anger. It gave him hope that Barry wasn’t completely immune to him. A little reverse psychology would get him on the Waverider. Then, he just had to find a way to get Barry alone so they could talk… or anything else Barry might be interested in doing with him.

* * *

Len leaned against the wall and listened as Gideon filled Barry in on everything they knew about the rogue speedster, Legerity, as Cisco insisted on calling him. Admittedly, there wasn’t much information. Sara, Zari and Palmer were by the captain’s seat, going over the ship’s diagnostic, Stein and Jax were in the engine room, Mick could be anywhere and Nate and Amaya were somewhere else, not flirting. 

“Thank you, Gideon,” Barry said when the AI had finished explaining it would take about ten hours to pinpoint the correct time to travel to. “Can you tell me where I’ll be sleeping?”

“I can show you,” Len interrupted calmly, pushing away from the wall.

Barry shrugged and stepped away from the console. “Fine.”

Len turned and headed down the appropriate hallway, Barry right behind him. “There were only eight personal quarters on the ship, not counting Hunter’s old room. Sara has taken it over as her office, so there’s no bed in there anymore. No spares, Flash. Hope you don’t mind sharing space,” he drawled, stopping by a door and swiping his hand over the panel to unlock it.

“And who am I sharing with?” Barry asked dryly.

“Guess,” Len smirked.

Barry crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Len with disbelief. “I’m not sharing anything with you.”

Len moved a step closer, only two inches of air separating them now. “You used to enjoy sharing with me,” he purred.

“Operative words being ‘used to’,” Barry ground out. “I have absolutely no interest in even speaking to you, much less sharing a bed.”

Len licked his lips and laid a hand on Barry’s hip. When he didn’t move away, Len closed the remaining distance between them. “Sure about that, Scarlet?” 

Len leaned in, eyes on Barry’s lips, which made it easy to see the cruel grin that tugged at the speedster’s lips. It made his blood run cold. Suddenly Len was pressed hard into the interior wall of his quarters. The hand around his throat tightened enough to cut off his air for a couple of seconds. He barely noticed, his entire focus on the eyes boring into him as they sparked with bursts of lightning.

“Do not touch me,” Barry snarled. “You gave up the right a long time ago.” Barry released him and stepped back. “I’m here to do a job. We are not friends. We are not lovers. We are not even enemies. You are nothing to me anymore.”

Len slumped against the wall as Barry turned and calmly walked out of the room. He let his head droop as he struggled to control the pounding in his heart. His eyes burned with unshed tears. Not the most auspicious reunion, to be honest. 

“Could have gone better,” Mick said, stepping into the room.

Len looked up at his long-time friend and partner. “He hates me.”

“Love. Hate,” Mick said with a shrug. “Easy to confuse the two. I should know. Maybe he does hate you. But some part of him still cares.”

“How do you figure that?” Len asked.

Mick sipped the beer in his hand. “If you didn’t still matter, seeing you wouldn’t hurt him now.”

Len sighed and moved to sit on the edge of the bunk. “What do I do?” he asked, speaking mostly to himself. 

Mick shrugged and sat down beside him. “Ain’t never had much interest in romance. You know that. Look, I never understood why you were so hung up on the kid, but I also know you were happiest in those few months. Why did you end it?”

Len closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Because I believed Rip Hunter,” he admitted. “He told me that Barry was destined to be with Iris. That I would get him killed. That being with me was destroying him.”

Mick snorted. “You’re an idiot.”

“I need to fix this, Mick,” Len whispered. “I still love him.”

Mick sighed and clapped Len on the back. “I know.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry joins the Legends for a mission, but that doesn't mean he's willing to spend time with Len.

Barry bunked with Ray. It took all of his self control not to punch the boy scout when he heard them laughing about stolen blankets. Sara found it more than a little amusing, if the smirks she kept shooting them were any indication.

“I took you for a snuggler, not a blanket thief,” she joked with Barry.

Len could attest the kid was like an octopus in bed. He leaned his chair back and waited for Barry to give one of those blushes he loved so much.

“I used to be,” Barry replied steadily, without a hint of embarrassment or unease, sipping the coffee Stein had made in the mess hall. “Not much for it anymore. I like my space.” 

Sara perched on the counter and tilted her head. “So, you have a girlfriend, sweetie? That pretty little reporter on your team, maybe?”

Barry was silent for a couple of seconds. Len chewed the inside of his cheek nervously as he waited for the answer. “No. I don’t date,” he finally said. 

“Cutie like you?” she grinned. “I would have bet the girls, and even a few guys, would be lining up to take you out.”

Barry set aside the cup and smirked at Sara. “Are you offering?”

Len sat up, the front legs of his chair hitting the floor loudly. Neither Sara nor Barry looked his way.

Sara grinned and tossed her hair back. “Is that a yes?”

Barry chuckled as he turned and walked out of the room. “You scare me. Besides, like I said, I don’t date,” he tossed over his shoulder.

* * *

The first thing they did when they landed was to set up a base of operations on the edge of Central where Legerity was last seen. They monitored police radios for sightings and did sweeps of the city, but until the speedster showed himself, they had little to do. Len spent his time watching Barry. Studying him. Taking note of all the changes the past years had wrought. He needed to know everything there was to know about Barry if he was going to find a way to win him back. Unfortunately, Barry had gotten good at concealing his thoughts and emotions.

He talked science with Palmer and Stein. He talked history with Haywood. He tolerated Sara’s teasing, often rolling his eyes and walking away when she got too flirty (which Len suspected she only did to rile him up). He didn’t interact much with Jax, Amaya or Mick unless it was necessary. Mick he could understand, but Jax had been a friend, so Barry avoiding him was a bit unusual. As for Amaya, she tried to get to know Barry, but he rebuffed her every time. It was more than a little disconcerting. 

When it came to Len, Barry didn’t exactly avoid him, but the speedster was very good at making sure they were never alone. They had been in this time period for three days already and still Len hadn’t had a single opportunity to speak with Barry alone. Hell, he didn’t even know where Barry was sleeping, because Gideon was more loyal to her creator than to the crew. He took a tiny bit of comfort from the fact Barry wasn’t sharing with anyone after that first night, but not knowing where Barry was at all times grated on his nerves.

“Guys, we may have something,” Sara said, walking into the cortex with a determined air. “There’s a gala at the science museum tonight, and they’ve upped their security because rumor has it Legerity is going to hit the place. I can get me and you in, Barry.”

Len stood and followed Barry over to the desk where Sara was laying out some papers. There was a program for the gala, some promotional flyers for the event, two tickets to the gala and a map of the museum. Barry looked over the program, flipping through the pages at superspeed.

“I can see why he would attack,” Barry said with a frown. “They’re unveiling a piece of tech he would want.” Barry pinched the bridge of his nose. “A tachyon device.”

“And that’s bad?” asked Sara.

Barry nodded, beginning to pace. “If harnessed correctly, the device can absorb the speed force. It would allow Legerity to become practically unstoppable.”

“How do you know this?” asked Sara.

“Because I’ve used it before,” he admitted. Barry stopped moving and looked at Sara worriedly. “The power of that thing…” Barry shivered for a moment. “If Legerity gets the device, you’ll never catch him. Not even I could.”

“Then the plan is simple,” Len said decisively. “Get the device first.”

Barry picked back up the program and began searching for information on the display. Suddenly he disappeared in a streak of electricity. Seventy-three seconds later he was back. “Found the display it will be placed in. It’ll be heavily secured. Four different laser fields surround the bullet-proof glass that will house it. Each one triggers a separate alarm. There’s also two sets of steel doors that will seal the room if any of the alarms go off. Meta dampeners are embedded in the doors and walls. Alarms get triggered, dampeners come online.”

“Sounds like a job for a thief,” Len smirked at Sara.

Sara nodded. “The problem is, I was only able to get my hands on two tickets. Barry needs to be there, in case this other speedster shows up. I have to be there, since the tickets are in my name. It would look suspicious if I’m not. With the threat of Legerity, security in there is going to be very tight. We don’t have a third ticket.”

Barry picked the program back up. “No problem,” he said with a smirk. “Take Cold. I have my own way in.”

“Going to just flash your way into a black tie gala?” Len jeered. Barry finally looked over at him, eyes flickering with amusement. 

“Something like that.” He dropped the program and turned to Sara. “I need to see an old friend. Don’t wait for me.”

“What do...” (a gust of air sent Sara’s hair across her face) “...you mean?” She turned to Len who shrugged.

“You get used to it.”

Sara leaned her hip against the desk. “So, what’s the deal with you and him, anyway?”

Len sighed. If anyone else on the crew had asked, he’d brush them off. But, if anyone could understand, it was Sara. “We were nemeses, at first. It was fun. Made me rethink my strategies. For years I was the best. After Scarlet came along, I was even better. He made it fun again.”

“What changed?” she asked.

Len paused. “He saved my sister. Saved me. Said he saw something worthwhile in me.” Len turned and walked back over to his seat. “The next time I saw him, I froze him to the wall. He was yelling, I was…” he huffed and looked away. “The louder he got, the more irresistible he got. I kissed him. We ended up at one of my safe houses. Before too long, we were meeting regularly.”

“But it ended badly,” she guessed.

“I got recruited. Thought he’d be better off with someone else. He didn’t take it well.”

“You want him back.”

Len sighed softly. “No. I need him back. That’s the only thing that matters to me.”

Sara stared at him intently before giving him a soft smile and leaving the room to get ready.

* * * 

Barry hadn’t returned by the time Sara and Len needed to leave. Jax and Martin were on the Waverider, keeping an eye on the cameras at the museum. Nate and Amaya were across the street from the museum, backup in case something went wrong. Ray and Mick were behind the museum near the jump ship. As they approached the entrance Sara suddenly tightened her hand on Len’s elbow. When he followed her line of sight, he almost froze up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len and Sara head to the museum to stop Legerity from stealing the device.

_As they approached the entrance Sara suddenly tightened her hand on Len’s elbow. When he followed her line of sight, he almost froze up._

Standing just inside the entrance was a handsome man with thick blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, dark blue eyes and a muscular build. He looked about 40-45 years old, his tuxedo tailored perfectly. It wasn’t the man with the movie star looks that alarmed them, though. It was the fact that Barry was hanging off the guy’s elbow, wearing a black button-up shirt, black slacks, black suspenders and a scarlet red tie. He wore dark eyeliner that made his eyes seem bigger, more sinful. A tinted gloss gave his lips that ‘just-kissed-senseless’ look. His hair was tousled and his smile slightly wicked. Barry looked like the most delicious arm candy ever.

As soon as they reached the top step, Barry seemed to finally notice them. He giggled (honest-to-god giggled!) before turning to the stranger. “Adam, honey, this is the friend I told you about, Sara and her husband, Leonard.” Barry turned to Sara and Len, eyes flashing a warning. “Sara, darling! I’m so happy you came!” 

He leaned forward without releasing his date’s arm, kissing the air by Sara’s cheek. “And you managed to drag your husband, too! You just have to meet my date. This is Adam Thomas. He’s the director of acquisitions,” Barry said proudly, snuggling against Adam’s side.

Sara gave Adam a brilliant smile. “So nice to meet a friend of Barry’s,” she said, holding out her hand. 

Adam politely kissed the back of it before looking at Len. Len had been subjected to many types of stares during his lifetime. This one was clearly taking his measure. Adam wrapped an arm around Barry’s waist and pressed a kiss below his ear. “Barry told me you have a keen interest in our museum, Mrs. Lance,” Adam said, turning him and Barry to walk further into the museum along side Sara and Len.

She smiled and lied flawlessly. “My father was a scientist. I grew up listening to him talk about engineering and technology. It’s fascinating, even when I don’t fully understand it. We're firm believers in supporting the sciences.”

They walked across the main floor and grabbed glasses of wine before strolling along the outer edge of the party. Adam nodded to a few people, but kept them moving in a steady pace. He also kept up a steady flirtation with Barry, which the speedster returned along with suggestive looks and lingering touches. Len had never wished for his cold gun more. When they reached a hallway near the buffet, Adam turned and wrapped his arms around Barry and smiled warmly. 

“Honey, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give your friend a quick round of introductions before we begin the presentations. I’ll be back in ten minutes.” 

Barry smiled slyly before moving forward and running a hand down Adam’s chest. “Ten minutes,” he teased with faux sternness. “Any longer and I may have to find a new dance partner.”

Adam chuckled and ran his knuckles across Barry’s cheek before holding out an elbow to Sara. She hesitated until Barry gave a barely-there nod. As soon as they walked away Barry gave a quick scan off the room before grabbing Len’s wrist and pulling him down the hall and through a door that led to a stairwell.

“We have eight and a half minutes to get to the display, grab the device and get back,” Barry said quickly. He grabbed Len’s waist and took a deep breath. “Close your eyes.”

Len quickly did so, the distortion of being moved at superspeed still an all-too-familiar feeling. When they stopped, they were in another room. The center display was surrounded by thick glass and an intricate laser field. Len stumbled slightly, but it was still better than time jumping. At least his eyes weren’t bleeding. He watched as Barry moved to the exit and began keeping an eye out.

Len moved to the first set of lasers and studied the panel operating them. “How are you going to explain to your date that his prize disappeared? You know he’s going to be suspicious, right?”

Barry chuckled darkly. “Adam knows why I’m here. He knows why you and Sara are here. He’s willing to help keep this out of the wrong hands. I don’t want him getting blamed, though, so he’s out front with Sara, maintaining a perfect alibi, while we steal the device.”

Len stared at Barry in shock for a full five seconds before regaining control of his expression. “You two got close quickly, if you’re trusting him with our secrets,” he pointed out coldly. “Have you forgotten that a secret identity is supposed to be secret?”

“I met Adam in 2017,” Barry admitted. “When I saw his name in the program I knew he would be my way in. So, I went to see him, explained why I was here and he agreed to help. He’s a good guy. He already knew I was the Flash. I knew him before I learned how to suppress my vibrations.”

Len bit back a jealous retort. Or rather, he tried to. “Thought you said you don’t date.”

Barry tensed, but didn’t look at Len. “Spending a three day weekend in a hotel room doesn’t count as dating,” he said tightly. “I’m done talking about this. It’s none of your business who or what I did after you left.”

Len disabled the first array and moved on to the second. Six minutes and forty-seven seconds to go. “Just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you, Scarlet,” he said gently.

“Maybe,” Barry said, his voice low. “Maybe not. Either way, I’m not having this conversation again. We fucked. We stopped fucking. I’d appreciate it if you had the decency to leave it in the past.”

They were silent for several minutes while Len finished with the last array then looked back at Barry. “You said you loved me,” he whispered softly.

Barry sped over and vibrated his hand through the glass to grab the device and pull it free. Once he handed it over for Len to pocket he looked up and met the thief’s eyes. “I took your advice,” Barry said in a gruff voice. “I got over it.”

The next thing Len knew, he was back in the hallway by the reception room. He shivered with disorientation as Sara reappeared by his side. He looked around the room and found Barry by the stage, clinging to Thomas’ arm and smiling flirtatiously. 

“Got it?” Sara side whispered.

Len’s eyes lingered on Barry bleakly. “Got it.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry vs Legerity.

They left before the presentation, slinking out a side door and high-tailing it to the jumpship. As soon as the device was safely stored aboard the Waverider they headed back to the warehouse. They still had a rogue speedster to find and contain. They were just landing when the coms began blaring loudly.

“Legerity struck!” Amaya shouted. They could hear the sounds of fighting coming over the speakers.

Sara had the jumpship back in the air in seconds. “On our way!”

“Don’t bother,” Mick growled. “Flash is chasing him away from the museum. They’re heading toward the old park.”

“Um, guys? I can’t get close,” Ray said worriedly. “There’s some sort of static field surrounding the park. My suit almost died on me when I got close.”

“My gun powered down on it’s own,” Mick growled. “What the hell is that?”

“Gideon?” Sara called out as she landed near the others. “What’s happening?”

“It would appear that there is an electronic shield surrounding the park, Captain Lance,” the AI replied. “It will prevent any technology from operating inside the area. I suspect Legerity is using it to prevent electronic sweeps of the park that would reveal his location.”

Len growled as he unhooked the ship restraints and hurried toward the hatch. Once outside they could easily see the zigzag of two speedsters through the trees. Len ran forward, the others right behind him. None of them were fast enough to catch up, though. Just as they got to one spot where the fight was happening, it veered off to another spot in the park. Neither the cold gun nor the heat gun would power up. Ray’s suit was useless and even Amaya’s necklace refused to respond to her touch. 

“Guys!” Jax called out over the comms. “You need to find whatever is powering that force field and shut it down!”

Stein chimed in then. “The center of the shied is in the center of the park. That is where whatever is killing off your equipment will be.”

Len growled and ran for the center of the park. It was easy enough to figure out what the device was. A glowing beacon on a metal pole stood right in front of the water fountain. Ray approached it carefully, but the device was simple. A switch below the beacon turned it off easily. Just then the streaks of lightning moved into the area and Len reached for his gun. It charged immediately.

“SCARLET!”

One of the streaks staggered and stopped moving, Barry looking over at the group anxiously. The other streak stopped a few feet away and they all got a look at the smaller man in dark green and black. Len pulled the trigger without hesitation.

“NO!!!” Barry yelled, surging forward into the path of the beam.

Len’s heart skipped a beat as Barry went flying into a tree. Legerity gave a startled shout before disappearing down a street. Len dropped the gun and ran forward, falling to his knees beside Barry. He blanched as he saw shards of ice piercing Barry’s shirt and slacks. 

“Scarlet!” he cried out as he pressed his hands over the wounds. Blood slipped through his fingers, hot and sticky. Barry’s eyes were open, but unfocused as he gasped for breath. “What the hell were you thinking?” Len demanded frantically.

“K-kid,” Barry choked out. He swallowed weakly, looking up at Len. “J-just a sc-scared...” Barry’s eyes fluttered closed and he went limp.

Len slid his hands under Barry and lifted his easily. Despite Barry’s height, he was pretty lightweight. He hurried back toward the jumpship, barely noticing the others following behind. All his attention was focused on counting Barry’s breaths and praying for the speedster’s safety.

* * *

Nothing mattered outside this room. He didn’t give a shit about the time line. He couldn’t care less about Legerity. All that he cared about was the pale, lanky man who held his heart. The monitor beside the chair showed a rapid, but weak pulse. Len clung to Barry’s limp hand tightly with one hand while the other smoothed the edges of the bandage covering Barry’s left side. 

“Why the hell did you do that?” he whispered. “I almost killed you, Barry! You are my everything and I almost lost you to my own damn gun.” Len sighed and leaned forward to press his forehead to Barry’s shoulder.

“I never should have let Hunter convince me to leave. It was so easy for him. I never thought I was good enough for you. I thought that it would end badly, with you hating me. So I took the out he offered; I wasn’t breaking your heart because I was bad but because it was best for you.”

Len swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat. “God, I love you, Scarlet. More than I ever thought I was capable of. Seeing you tonight, with that man? I wanted to…” Len sighed softly. “I know I have no right being jealous, Barry, but I am. I’m so damn jealous of him. I want you all to myself. I want you to love me again. I want to hold you and talk to you and just… protect you. Come back to me, Barry. I’m lost without you.”

“Hey.”

Len tensed but turned to face Sara in the doorway. “What?”

“Company,” she said warily. “Asking for Barry.”

Len frowned, confused by that. Who could be asking for him? Who the hell in this year knew about the Waverider? “What are you talking about?”

Sara frowned and looked at Barry. “Apparently, Mr. Thomas knows more about us than he should. He’s standing outside, waiting. Ray and Martin are with him.”

Len stood and reluctantly released Barry’s hand. Maybe this was a good thing. Scarlet would be pissed, but Len seriously needed a distraction right now. A good brawl would accomplish that.

He marched past Sara, heading toward the exit hatch. He heard her keeping pace behind him, but he ignored it. Jax, Mick and Amaya were in the bay, looking unsettled. Well, Jax and Amaya looked unsettled. Mick was grinning knowingly. Len stormed out of the Waverider, heading straight for the blonde Adonis. Before he got within a yard of the other man, Adam Thomas began speaking.

“So you’re the one he wanted to forget,” the blonde said calmly, hands in the pockets of his tuxedo pants. “I always wondered what you would look like. I’ll admit, I always thought you would look more like me.”

Len stopped walking and stared at Adam angrily. “Why?” he bit out.

“Because that was Barry’s type back then,” he replied. “I wasn’t the only one Barry spent time with in the year I knew him.” Adam frowned in thought for a moment. “Besides me, there was Vince, Helen and Freddie that I knew of. Blonde, academically inclined, early-to-mid twenties. Barry definitely had a type back then.”

“If you’re just here to gloat,” Sara growled from behind Len.

Adam shook his head. “No. But you can’t blame me for being curious. Barry was so careful to never let any of us close. He was very insistent that things were casual. Once the weekend was over, it was over. Strictly platonic after that.” Adam sighed and shrugged. “I just wanted to get a good look at the man who fucked Barry up.”

Ray and Jax moved quickly to grab Len’s arms, preventing him from stepping forward and punching the blonde in the face. Adam didn’t flinch, but he did turn away, looking at Professor Stein.

“I need to speak to Barry,” he said calmly. “About the speedster he chased after.”

Ray glanced warily at Len before shaking his head. “I’m afraid Barry was injured in the fight. He’s recovering, but indisposed. You seem to be pretty well informed in regards to Barry and us.”

A flash of concern passed over Adam’s face before he nodded. “I’m not just a museum curator. Barry and I met when he came to me for help with some magical items. After we… enjoyed a few days together, we formed a friendship of sorts. We’ve kept in touch over the years and I’ve even met Professor Stein and his daughter before.”

Stein looked surprised. “Really?”

Adam nodded, turning to Stein. “Probably best I not tell you how or why. Barry has explained time travel to me, but I still don’t understand it enough to know whether explaining would change things or not. Anyway, Barry called me a couple of weeks ago and told me he would be visiting, well, that a younger version of him would be visiting, and would need my help. Why else would I let strangers steal from my museum? Could I ask you to pass on a message?”

“What is it?” asked Sara.

“Tell him that the speedster wants a meeting,” Adam answered. “He left a message at the museum after the fight. I hope Barry will understand it. It said ‘Meet me where the raven and the robin reside’. He spray painted it on the side of the museum in red with a lightning bolt at the end.” Adam pulled his left hand from his pocket, hesitated a moment, then looked at Sara. “Would you give this to Barry, as well?” he asked, handing her a small, flat box. “He left it with me many years ago. I think it’s time I returned it.”

Sara hesitantly took the box and nodded. She glanced at Len who was looking less homicidal, but not exactly calm yet, before looking back at Adam. “You love him,” she said, making it sound more like a question than a statement.

Adam laughed darkly. “I admire him. I desire him. I also know better than to give my heart to someone who hasn’t got one to give back. The Barry I know? He’s not cruel, but he’s emotionless. Cold. He doesn’t love. He doesn’t trust. He’s a hero, but he’s damaged. The only time I ever saw the faintest real emotion in him was in bed. Sex was his outlet. He was warmer then. Giving. Outside of that, though? Every smile, every laugh, they were just masks he wore to appease his friends and family. I’m one of the lucky ones. I was barely his friend, barely his lover. He didn’t pretend with me because he didn’t care enough to hide who he was.”

Adam turned and walked back to his car without another word. The crew watched him leave before looking at Len warily. He could feel their stares, but his mind was still turning over everything the man had said. Emotionless. Cold. Damaged. He made Barry that way. 

Len jerked his arms free and headed back onto the Waverider. He walked back into the medical bay and sat back down beside the bed, eyes going to the monitors. “Gideon? How is he?” he asked softly.

“Barry Allen will be completely healed in two hours and nine minutes. His vitals are within normal range. I am keeping him sedated to prevent him from agitating his injuries,” the AI answered.

Len nodded and gently lifted Barry’s hand in his. “I’m going to fix this, Scarlet. I swear I’ll make things right.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara gets angry and Len finally gets a chance to explain to Barry.

The moment Gideon stopped pumping Barry full of sedatives Len reluctantly let go of his hand and moved to the wall. Sara and Ray stood close to the bed, waiting on him to awaken. Len desperately wanted to be the first face he saw, but he knew Barry was still too angry and hurt to react well to that. He had to move carefully, patiently, if he was to have any chance of winning his lover back. 

Barry groaned and shifted before opening his eyes. He blinked a few times against the bright overhead lights before sitting up. “Well, I’m not dead. Too sore and tired for that,” he grumbled. “And hungry.”

Ray laughed as he held out a plate of sandwiches. “Gideon said you would be hungry.”

Barry chuckled and took the plate. “She knows me a little too well, sometimes. My own personal mother-hen.”

Sara looked at him curiously. “Why does Gideon react to you the way she does? You knew about her before you stepped aboard the ship, didn’t you?”

Barry sped through three sandwiches before shrugging. “Gideon?”

“Yes?” the AI answered.

“Tell them,” Barry ordered, eating six more sandwiches.

“I was created by Barry Allen. In essence, I am his child,” she replied. “A twin version of my program is in STAR Labs, under his supervision.”

Sara frowned slightly, arms crossed. “Does that mean Barry can override my orders?”

“Yes, in theory,” Gideon answered. “However, he has ordered the Waverider version of me to regard you as my captain, Miss Lance.”

Barry rotated his head to crack his neck before looking at Sara. “I put in safeguards that keep you in charge. If something happens to you, she will alert me, but as long as you captain the Waverider, this Gideon is under your control.”

Sara looked skeptical but didn’t ask any more about it. She stepped closer and held out the box Adam had given her. “You’re ex asked me to return this to you.”

Barry took the box and pulled off the top. He smiled slightly before tipping the contents into his hand. The oblong orb was light pink and the size of a half dollar. Barry rolled it between his thumb and forefinger a few times before setting it back in the box and placing it on the bedside table. 

“What is that?” asked Ray curiously.

Barry shrugged and swung his feet to the side. “Just a trinket,” he answered. 

“It’s a rose quartz,” Amaya said, moving closer to look at it. “A heart stone. It is supposed to promote love and tenderness. It’s beautiful.”

Len bit the inside of his cheek and started to look away but Barry’s harsh chuckle drew his eyes. “It’s also supposedly the stone for people who have never received love. It’s supposed to help them connect with others.” Barry shrugged and picked it up, tossing it to her. “Keep it. I gave it to Adam because he liked it. It’s worthless to me.”

He stood and groaned. “I really hate that gun,” he mumbled, rubbing his side. After a couple of seconds he looked at Ray. “I take it Legerity escaped.”

“Yeah,” Ray answered. “But he left you a message. We think he wants a rematch.”

“He said to meet him where the raven and robin reside,” Stein said thoughtfully. “I think he means the aviary. It’s outside of the city and remote. It might be a trap.”

“Which means you’re staying here,” Sara ordered. “You’re injured. A liability on the field. We’ll let you know what happens.”

Barry smiled. “Do you have a plan for handling a speedster you can’t catch?”

Len pushed off the wall and slid his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out to Barry. “Don’t we always?”

Barry glanced at him before shrugging. “Well, good luck. I’m still hungry.” Barry walked out without waiting on anyone to comment.

Sara looked at each one of them warily. “Why do I get the feeling he’s up to something?”

“Because he is,” Len huffed. “Otherwise he would have argued about being benched.”

“What do you think it is?” asked Ray worriedly. 

Len gritted his teeth and pinched the bridge of his nose. “If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say he’s left the ship by now and is halfway to where the meeting is supposed to take place.”

Sara cursed under her breath. “Gideon? Where is Barry?”

“He has left the Waverider, Captain Lance. Based on trajectory, he is heading toward the eastern coast. My guess would be New York City.”

“Why would Barry go there?” Sara snapped.

“Because that is where the original Titan Tower is located,” Gideon answered. “The place where Robin, sidekick to Batman, and Raven, daughter of the demon Trigon, once lived as members of the Teen Titans.”

“Where Legerity is waiting to ambush Barry,” Len snapped.

Sara sped toward the bridge, the rest of the Legend right behind her. “Gideon, get us to New York City now!”

* * *

Len wasn’t sure which he wanted to do most, punch Red for scaring him like that, or kiss him for being so damn reckless! When the Waverider landed on the roof of the abandoned Titan Tower fifteen minutes later, the crew spilled out, geared up for a fight. Only to find Barry stepping out of a breach like the ones Cisco could make. 

Sara stormed out ahead of the crew. “What the hell, Barry?!”

The speedster took a moment to stretch his back and shrugged. “Problem solved,” he said calmly.

Everyone looked at him with confusion. “Um, what?” asked Amaya.

Barry shrugged. “Legerity is gone.”

“Gone where?” Sara demanded. Len could see she was barely holding onto her temper. He edged closer to Barry instinctively. 

“Home,” Barry answered. “He was just a kid, new to his powers. He got caught in a breach on Earth 9 and ended up here. I used the tech Cisco installed in my gloves to open a breach and took him back to his Earth.” Barry paused, looking thoughtful. “Kind of a weird one. They have a dog called Krypton, who has the same powers as Kara. Even wears a little cape.” Barry chuckled as he shrugged. “Anyway, mission accomplished. You can take me back, now.”

“You ran off,” Sara snapped. “Without talking to any of us! You could have made things much worse! You could have gotten injured again! Or worse, killed!”

Barry straightened to his full height slowly. Len was surprised to see the little crackles of lightning in Barry’s eyes. That was a pretty good indication that Barry was barely containing his own anger. “The kid asked me to come here. I almost had him talked down at the park until you guys attacked. He’s young, barely 15, and doesn’t have much control, yet. He was in the middle of a training session when he got sucked into the breach. Alone, scared, and desperate, the last thing he needed was a group of strangers browbeating him.”

Barry stepped closer to Sara, making her have to crane her neck back to look him in the eye. “If you don’t like my methods, Captain Lance, don’t ask for my help. I am not one of your crew. I don’t answer to you.” Barry walked around her and entered the Waverider without another word. 

“That went… not very well,” Ray said awkwardly.

Len let out a slow breath before heading back to the ship. He expected to have to hunt Barry down. Instead, he found him in the first place he looked. Barry was sitting on the floor in Ray’s quarters, eyes closed. He looked exhausted to Len’s eyes. He leaned sideways against the open door frame and studied Barry closely. 

“You could have explained before running off,” he said, keeping his voice calm.

“Didn’t want to,” Barry quipped, shrugging one shoulder. 

Len’s lips tugged up reluctantly into a tiny smile. “You aren’t the one who has to deal with a pissed off former assassin.”

Barry sighed and opened his eyes. “What do you want, Cold?” he asked tiredly.

Len moved further into the room, letting the door slide closed and giving them privacy. “To explain,” he said quietly. “About why I left.”

Barry exhaled, shoulders slumping. “Why? It’s doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything.”

“Because you deserve to know,” Len said softly. “Because I… I need you to know why I left even after you said you loved me.”

Barry was silent for all of two seconds before he stood up. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I loved you. Still do, I’m afraid.” Len’s heart leaped with that admission. “And I’ll probably have to suffer that the rest of my life.”

“Barry, I know how much I hurt you. If you would just let me explain…”

“That Rip Hunter talked you into it?” Barry asked with a humorless smirk. 

Len’s jaw dropped in surprise. “You know?”

“That he told you I was destined for Iris? That being together was wrong for the timeline?” Barry nodded. “I know. I knew the night you sent me away.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len discovers that Barry knew the truth, all along.

_“I know. I knew the night you sent me away.”_

“How?” Len demanded.

“Because Rip Hunter came to me before he came to you,” Barry answered, expression hardening. “He told me the same things. How I had some grand future ahead of me. How Iris and I were fated. How being with you would destroy the fabric of time.” Barry gave a harsh laugh. “I told him to fuck off. I told him you were worth changing the future for.” Barry’s eyes filled with cold anger as his voice hitched painfully. “I told him that nothing could tear us apart,” he whispered.

Len’s own vision turned blurry. He quickly dashed away the tears starting to form. “Barry...”

“I can’t even blame you for it. You had the chance to save the world. To be more than you thought you could be. But as much as I love you for doing something so wonderful, I hate you for how you abandoned me so easily. How you left me without any hesitation. So eager to leave, you didn't even bother packing anything but the gun and parka. I did everything I could think of to forget you,” Barry said, voice growing rougher with each word. 

“Oh, how I tried to forget. I thought about running back in time and stopping us from ever getting together. I even thought about running far enough back to make sure we never met. I tried to lose myself in flings, hoping it would erase the feel of you. The taste of you. I dated Iris, thinking I should just resign myself to my fate.”

Barry chuckled darkly. “Couldn’t even get it up when she touched me. Her hands were too warm, too small. Lips felt wrong. I have to turn the AC on full blast and cool them down before I can stand to touch anyone.”

Len swallowed against the bile in his throat. He wanted to make Barry stop talking, but he was frozen, unable to move or speak as Barry revealed everything.

“I got Caitlin to start testing drugs on me, under the guise of creating a painkiller that I wouldn’t burn through. I even tried Vertigo. Arrow had left a sample with us for safe keeping, but it only worked for a few minutes. I drank every ounce of Flash-proof alcohol she had and managed to stay drunk for 7.3 minutes. I just wanted to be numb.” Barry walked over to Ray’s bed and sat down. “I hunted down Bivolo and begged him to zap me with his eyes. He thought it was some sort of trap and refused. I was willing to rage rather than feel so damn… abandoned,” Barry sighed.

His shoulders slumped and he looked over at Len, finally, but his eyes were dead now, empty. “All my life I’ve been… less. Less important. Less needed. Less wanted. Joe took me in, but I was never really his son. Not like Wally. He proved that when he had me give up my powers to Zoom. Iris loved me, but never the way I loved her. I was her backup plan. My dad couldn’t leave fast enough when he got out of Iron Heights. Every person I’ve ever loved left. I don’t know why I expected you to be any different.”

Len finally shook off his shock. “Scarlet… Barry, please. There has to be a way to fix this,” he whispered. “Barry, I lo…”

“I don’t trust you, Snart,” Barry interrupted weakly. “I can’t. I hate who I’ve become. Who loving you turned me into. Just leave it alone, okay? There’s nothing left to fix. You and I are nothing now.”

Len moved across the floor and grabbed Barry’s shoulders. “I don’t accept that!” he argued fiercely. “You love me. You just said so. Dammit, I died and came back, for you! I’m not letting us end like this!”

He wasn’t going to let Barry argue anymore. If Barry couldn’t believe his words, maybe he’d believe his actions. He bent and captured the speedster’s mouth in a fiery kiss. Like it always had before, passion erupted over the both of them immediately. Within minutes they were both naked and writhing on the bed. Hands stroked and squeezed and left behind bruises. Lips and tongues danced across sweat-slicked skin. Teeth teased and fingers enticed. 

When Len finally spread Barry’s legs and slowly sank in, his eyes rolled back with pleasure so intense, he thought he might blackout for a second. He wasn’t entirely sure he didn’t. His hands went to Barry’s hips for control while Barry’s hands gripped his ass to make him move. That first thrust felt like coming home. Hearing his name on his young lover’s lips was heaven. He heard himself chanting ‘Scarlet’ over and over like a prayer. 

And when they both hit their peak, almost simultaneously, Len swore in Barry’s ear that he wasn’t going anywhere. Barry didn’t reply, but he did let Len curl up behind him. And when he gave a soft sob just before falling asleep, Len simply held him tighter.

* * *

Barry wasn’t in the bed when Len woke up. Ray was in the room, though, looking very displeased. Len ignored him as he sat up and pulled on his clothes. He was lacing up his boots when the Ray cleared his throat.

“If you’re just pulling some con…”

“None of your business, Haircut,” Mick growled from the doorway.

“Barry is my friend,” Ray objected.

“And he’s the love of my life,” Len snapped. “Stay out of it!”

Seeing Ray’s startled expression was almost worth revealing his feelings. Len stomped out of the room and headed for the bridge. Sara and Amaya were there, but they barely looked up from the schematics they were studying as he swept through the room and headed down the other corridor, stopping to look through each room they came to. 

“You could just ask,” Mick grumbled behind him, keeping pace but staying two feet back.

“Fine,” he bit out. “Where is he?”

“Cargo room with Pretty,” the pyro answered. “Something about working out together.” Len growled under his breath and picked up speed. They stepped into the room and almost immediately were thrown against the far wall. 

“Shit!” Barry said, hurrying over and kneeling between the two men. “You okay?” he asked.

Len groaned, tasting blood where he had bitten his tongue. Beside him, Mick was smacking his left ear like he was trying to stop it from ringing. Len finally noticed the historian laying across their legs. “What the hell happened?” 

Nate slowly sat up and looked at them dazedly. “Sorry guys. We weren’t expecting anyone to walk in.”

Barry held out his hand and helped up Len, then Mick and finally Nate. “I threw him,” he explained. 

Len started to ask why he was throwing the other man at them when he realized what Barry was wearing. Or rather, what Barry wasn’t wearing. Like Nate, he was shirtless and the shorts he had on were formfitting. Too formfitting for public, in his opinion. With the tousled hair and sheen of sweat, Barry looked like he’d just been fucked hard. With a growl he grabbed a shirt off a crate and tried to pull it over Barry’s head.

Barry flinched and tried to shove it off, but Len held tight. “What the hell?! I’m sweaty!”

“I know,” he snapped. He ignored the smirk on Mick’s face and the confusion on Nate’s. “Stop wiggling!”

Barry glared at him before suddenly zipping away. “What is your problem?”

“My problem is that my boyfriend is almost fucking naked with some other guy,” he bit out, stomping toward him and shoving the shirt toward Barry again. “Put it on!”

Barry’s jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out. “Your… I’m… wha… are you serious?!”

Len’s jaw was clenched so hard, he might have to visit the med-bay to pry it open. He held up the shirt and narrowed his eyes. Barry’s head dropped forward and he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes for several seconds. When he looked back up Len knew he was in for a fight.

“One,” Barry ground out, “I am not your boyfriend. Two, we’re sparring. I’m not putting on a shirt to spar in! Three, _even if I was your boyfriend_ , you still wouldn’t have the right to order me around.”

“Um, maybe I should leave,” Nate suggested warily.

“Yes,” Len snapped.

“No,” Barry argued. 

Nate looked back and forth between them before quickly leaving the cargo room. Mick pressed the button to shut the door and then leaned against it silently. Len looked back at Barry and tried to calm himself. Yelling at Barry never solved anything. Usually it just made him more stubborn.

“You’re right,” he said stiffly. “I don’t have the right to order you around,” he conceded. “And maybe you aren’t ready for labels, _yet_ , but you can’t deny that we’re something, Barry. Not after last night.”

Barry gave a rough laugh. “Last night was intense, I’ll give you that. Sex with you always was. But that’s all it was. In a little while I’ll be back in Central and you’ll be here. What? Did you think an orgasm was going to mysteriously fix everything? It doesn’t work like that!”

“I know that!” Len growled. “I know nothing is fixed! But god dammit, Barry, it could be! We can have this! Have us again! But you have to open up to me! I know I screwed up! I can’t take that back. But please don’t walk away from this,” he begged. “Please just… just try.”

Several emotions flickered through Barry’s eyes. Fear, uncertainty, anger, hope. That last one was encouraging. After several seconds Barry’s shoulders slumped and he let out a long sigh. “I can’t risk more pain,” he whispered. “You have no idea how… broken I’ve been, Len.”

Hearing his first name last night had been erotic. Hearing it now, outside of the bedroom, after nothing but ‘Cold’ or ‘Snart’ since the mission began, made his stomach flutter. It felt like a breakthrough, of sorts. “Barry, I swear…”

“No!” Barry interrupted fiercely. “No promises! I won’t believe them, so don’t waste your breath. You’ve lied to me too many times.” Barry sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “There’s too much that's happened. I don’t know that we can be fixed. It went wrong so easily, so fast. One minute we were good and the next, you gave up.”

Len cringed, unable to argue that point. Before he could think of something to say Gideon’s voice came over the speakers. “Captain Lance asks everyone to report to the bridge. We are about to time jump.”

Len felt a surge of panic. They were about to head back to Barry's time and then he would be out of Len's reach. Barry took two steps toward the doors, intent on heading back to the bridge. Len darted forward and grabbed his arm, spinning him around. Barry’s mouth opened to say something, but it was lost as Len kissed him with all the need and love he felt. Barry slowly melted into him, returning the kiss with equal passion.

After a long moment he finally pulled back and cupped Barry’s face in his hands. “Fight this all you want,” he said in a heated voice. “But I’m not giving up. I _will_ win you back. I _will_ fix us. I love you, Scarlet. You love me, too. Nothing and no one is going to ever get between us again. I’ll do whatever it takes. You’ll see.”

Barry sighed and leaned his forehead against Len’s for a moment. “I wish I could believe you,” he whispered before quickly turning and rushing out of the room. By the time Len and Mick got to the bridge, Barry was dressed in his suit and sitting between Kendra and Jax. The jump only took a moment, and then Barry was gone, not even bothering with a goodbye to anyone. Sara, still pissed at Barry, immediately set coordinates for their next jump.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len learns something that rocks him. He needs to talk to Barry and get the whole story.

The one thing Len had always excelled at was planning, so he began planning how to win Scarlet back. Discovering that Gideon had intimate knowledge of Barry made things both easier and harder for him. Gideon knew everything about Barry. Who he battled, what he ate, how often he trained… who he had slept with. 

He knew he shouldn’t let it get to him. He didn’t have the right to be jealous. He had been the one to end things, causing Barry a great deal of pain in the process. Hell, he had slept with Valentina and Cassandra. He flirted with Sara before his death, even considered sleeping with her to help ease his own loneliness. But seeing that list was like a dagger in his guts. Like Thomas said, Barry never spent more than three nights with anyone. Most on the list were one night stands. The problem was, he knew one of those names. 

The problem was that Hartley Rathaway was on that list. 

One of his rogues had slept with his Barry. Barry had slept with one of his rogues. 

Len wasn’t sure which one of those statements was worse. The thought that one of his rogues, someone he took in and helped, had touched his Barry, that Barry had taken one of the rogues into his bed… 

Did he know Len would find out? Was it intentional? A way to hurt him? 

Len needed to talk to Barry. Thinking about this was just making him more and more angry. He needed to know the circumstances. He needed to know why. And he needed to hear it from Barry, himself. He grabbed his gun and jacket and made his way to the bridge. Sara and Palmer were looking through some files when he stepped into the room.

“I’m taking some leave,” he said firmly.

Sara looked up with a frown. “What?”

“I’m taking the jumpship and heading to 2018,” he said. “Got something I need to do.”

Suspicion lit her eyes and she crossed her arms over her chest. “We’re about to head to 1743. We could use you. We’ll head to 2018 after.”

Len smirked. “Sorry. No. Can’t wait.”

“We’re on a time ship,” Sara pointed out dryly.

“Let me clarify,” Len said. “Don’t want to wait.”

“Leonard,” she began.

“I’m going,” he interrupted. “I told you before, he’s all that matters to me.”

Sara sighed heavily but nodded. “Fine. But you’re not taking the jumpship. We might need it. We’ll drop you off and come back for you after.”

Len nodded and took a seat while Gideon called the rest of the crew to the bridge.

* * *

Len looked at the door in front of him nervously. Maybe he should have called ahead? He could hear voices inside, but couldn’t make out the words. Barry obviously had company. Male company? Female? Romantic? A spike of jealousy shot through him and he knocked a bit louder than he had intended. A few seconds went by before the door opened and Barry looked out at him, eyes wide with disbelief.

“Cold? What are you doing here?” he asked warily.

Len took in the t-shirt and shorts, the damp hair and fresh smell of soap. “We need to talk,” he said, striving to sound calm.

Barry studied him suspiciously for a moment before stepping back and letting him in. The apartment was bright with large windows and a skylight. Len tensed when he spotted Rathaway and a stranger sitting on the couch. Both men stood up quickly when they saw him. They exchanged nervous looks before nodding to him.

“We can talk in the bedroom,” Barry said, heading down a short hallway past the kitchen area and opening a door. “Be back in a minute, guys.” Len followed, resisting the urge to toss the men out on their asses. Barry stepped into the bedroom and shut the door before folding his arms over his chest.

“Why are you here?” Barry asked warily.

Len intended to have a calm conversation. He had planned on a frank, open discussion with Barry. All that went out the window after seeing Rathaway in Barry’s home. “You slept with one of my rogues?” he hissed.

Barry’s jaw dropped. “What?”

Len gestured toward the living room beyond the door. “What happened to your little rule about not dating? And who’s that other guy? Looking for a three-way?”

Barry’s expression turned to ice. “One, I’ve never dated Hartley. Two, that other guy is his boyfriend. Three, fuck you. Get the hell out of my home!”

“Don’t fucking lie to me!” Len snapped. “Guess what! Gideon keeps a record of who you slept with!”

Barry frowned for a second before his eyes narrowed. “You spied on me?!”

Len flinched guiltily but quickly went back to being furious. “I’m not the one fucking every Tom, Dick and _Hartley_ that comes along!”

“I NEVER FUCKED HARTLEY!” Barry yelled. “Slept together? Yes. Hartley and Lisa were helping me with a case. I got hurt. Hartley stayed with me for about a week. Helped me through the nightmares.”

Len froze, anger giving way to concern. “Hurt? What happened? Who hurt you?” he demanded, reaching out toward Barry.

Barry stepped back out of reach. “Fuck you,” he bit out. “You can’t come into my home and make accusations then act concerned about me!”

Len growled and ran a hand over his head. “Dammit! This isn’t how this was supposed to go!” he snapped. 

“How did you think it was going to go after you spy on me then make wild accusations?” Barry snapped back.

“I…” Len clenched his hands behind his neck. “I just… I saw Hartley’s name and…” Len moved over to the bed and sat down, shoulders curled inwards. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he admitted softly. “I keep thinking of you with someone else and it’s tearing me apart! I know I have no right to be jealous. I know you have every right to be with other people.” 

Len drew in a shaky breath. “But I am,” he said weakly. “I’m so fucking jealous. I love you so much, Barry. You’re everything to me. I can’t do it, Scarlet. I can’t pretend I don’t miss you every goddamn second. I told you I’d find a way to fix this, but I don’t know _how_! I don’t know how to make you trust me again. I don’t know how to make you forgive me. I don’t know how to make you want to love me again, and it’s killing me inside,” he whispered, tears splashing down onto the floor between his feet.

Len was disgusted with himself. He felt like the biggest fucking pussy in the world. Where was his cool? Where was his dignity? Several seconds of silence passed before he heard Barry move. A moment later Barry stepped between his legs and Len hesitantly looked up. He sucked in a shaky breath when he saw the tears in Barry’s eyes. He gasped when Barry dropped to his knees in front of him and placed his hands on Len’s cheeks.

Barry stared at him for several seconds, searching Len’s face for something. “Do you mean that?” he asked softly.

Len leaned into the touch, praying it wouldn’t be the last time he felt Barry’s hands on him. “I just want us back,” he said honestly. “I don’t give a damn about anything else, Barry. Being dead… it put a lot of things in perspective for me. YOU are the most important thing in my life. Nothing else comes close.”

Barry’s thumbs stroked the skin under Len’s eyes, wiping at the tears. “I’m not the same guy I was,” he warned. “Len, I don’t know that I can be who you remember. I’m not… open. Not anymore. For two years I’ve closed myself off. You may not like who I am now.”

Len covered Barry’s hands with his as he shook his head. “Let me be the judge of that.”

Barry sighed softly and looked down for a long moment. When he finally looked back up there was still a bit of skepticism in his eyes, but he nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I don’t know how this is going to work, but I believe you’re being honest with me. I want to try.”

Len moved forward quickly to capture Barry’s lips in a desperate kiss. He licked along Barry’s lower lip, but Barry kept his mouth tightly closed. When he pulled back, a question in his eyes, Barry shook his head. “I’m not falling back into bed with you. Sex… Len, you have to understand, I disassociated sex and love a long time ago. Sex is meaningless for me now. A biological release. I don’t want this, us, to be like that. That’s how we started out and it ended badly. If you really want to do this, we start over and do it right this time.”

Len shoved his libido down and nodded. He actually understood what Barry meant. Sex with Barry, while heady and mind-blowing, was secondary to what he really wanted. He wanted all of Barry back. Heart, mind, and body. He could wait until they were both ready.

“Dinner?” he asked. “Let me take you out.”

Barry nodded hesitantly. “We can do that. How about tomorrow?”

“What’s wrong with tonight?” Len asked, pouting slightly.

“Tonight I’m having movie night with Hartley and Roger,” Barry told him. He paused and bit his bottom lip. “You could stay and visit with Hartley. Meet his boyfriend.”

Len nodded. Whatever Barry wanted, as long as he got to spend more time with Barry. They both stood and grabbed some tissues from the bedside table to dry their faces. Len breathed in deeply. “Okay, Scarlet. But I’m introducing myself as your boyfriend,” he warned, only slightly teasing.

Barry gave a little smile. “Okay,” he agreed.

Len pressed a tiny kiss to Barry’s cheek. “Good.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len and Barry try to start a new relationship.

It wasn’t easy. Hell, half of the time they seemed to be at complete odds. It didn’t help any that Barry’s team and family were vehemently opposed to the relationship. Len kept waiting for the Barry he knew, the sweet optimistic Barry, to reappear. Romantic gestures were met with suspicion. For weeks Barry tensed whenever Len touched him, no matter how innocently. Len refused to let it bother him. If gifts and touches were out, he’d do other things. He found a small apartment close to Barry’s building and set about making it comfortable and inviting for the speedster. He cooked for Barry so he could eat when he stopped by after patrols. He made sure they talked every night, even if only for a few minutes. He teamed up with Barry whenever possible. This earned him some grudging acceptance from Cisco and Caitlin, but Iris and Joe were still furious that Barry let him come around.

Barry got frustrated with Len’s jealousy and possessiveness. Any time they went out and someone looked at Barry with interest, Len struggled not to stake a claim. Twice they had run into someone Barry had been intimate with and both evenings ended with each man storming to their respective homes, angry and hurting. It wasn’t until their third argument, when Barry threatened to end things, that Len realized what his jealousy could cost him.

It wasn't all bad. There were nights when they would talk for hours, laughing and joking. Days when they were comfortable and relaxed with one another. Those days gave him hope, and as time went by, he could see that same hope in Barry's eyes.

Things were constantly bouncing between better and worse when Mardon showed back up.

Barry had been doing a routine patrol, while avoiding Len after yet another argument (this time about moving in together), when he was suddenly thrown into the side of a building by hundreds of hail balls. By the time he managed to pick himself up he was bleeding from several places, his comms were knocked out and his left arm was broken. Mardon had grinned wickedly at him while conjuring up a small tornado.

Back at STAR Labs Cisco was going nuts trying to get through to Barry. His vitals were all over the place and he wasn’t responding to the comms. Desperate, he called Len since he was closest to where Barry went offline and gave him Barry’s last known location. Len raced to the area, scared he would be too late to save Barry. When he got there, he was stunned for all of two seconds before a white-hot fury erupted inside him. He fired his cold gun into Mardon without hesitation, sending thick ice shards straight through his side. Mardon was on the ground, unconscious and bleeding, before the wind died down.

Len ran to where Barry lay, crumbled, and placed a shaky hand to his neck. The feel of that faint pulse was all that kept him from completely losing his mind. He lifted Barry and ran for a nearby car, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get them both back to STAR Labs on his bike. Caitlin and Cisco jumped into action the second he carried Barry inside. Without any kind of medical training beyond learning how to stitch his own wounds, Len felt helpless as he was pushed to the side and forced to watch from the sidelines.

“Blood in the mouth,” Cisco warned as he intubated Barry. 

Caitlin nodded as she cleaned out a head wound and wrapped it. “Breathing is wrong,” she replied. “Probably a punctured lung. I’ll need a scan to make sure. I need to set the break in his hip before it starts to heal wrong.”

Cisco raced across the room and wheeled a machine to the bed. It looked like an ultrasound machine to Len. Caitlin shifted it around before turning it on and studying the tiny screen. Her shoulders relaxed slightly. “Okay, no punctured lung, but he does have internal bleeding and four fractured ribs. It looks like his sternum was cracked at one point. It’s almost healed.” She pushed the machine aside and began prepping an IV. 

“Saline?” Cisco asked. 

“Glucose, too,” Caitlin replied. 

Len paced back and forth as he watched her set up the IVs and then begin cleaning any wounds that were still bleeding. When she began pouring a thick gel into them Len moved closer. “What is that?”

“Surgical glue,” she replied. “With Barry’s enhanced healing, stitches tend to irritate within hours. The glue doesn’t. Nor do I have to worry about causing more pain by sticking a needle through his skin.”

“How long until he’s healed?” Len asked.

Caitlin paused and looked up at him. In truth, she was probably the more accepting out of everyone on Barry’s team about their relationship. “Twelve hours, give or take an hour. Are you going to stay?”

Len nodded. “I need to run back and return the car I nabbed and get my bike, but I’ll be back.” He hesitated before clearing his throat. “Should probably make sure whether Mardon’s alive or dead, too.”

“Mardon did this?” she asked.

“You took out one of your own Rogues?” Cisco asked, wide eyed with curiosity.

Len shot the engineer a glare before turning and storming out. Mardon was not one of _his_ Rogues! He was going to have to talk to his sister about her handle on _her_ Rogues. Letting Mardon run around unleashed was never a good idea. He ran a couple of red lights, unconcerned with traffic laws. His bike was where he left it, but Mardon was not. Len kicked a chunk of bloody ice and swore under his breath. He left the car and hopped on his bike, speeding back to the labs. By the time he returned, Snow had finished bandaging Barry and covered him with a blanket. Len sat down on a chair and carefully threaded their fingers together.

“Dammit, Scarlet,” he whispered. “I hate seeing you banged up.”

“Hate being banged up,” Barry mumbled tiredly.

Len’s eyes shot to Barry’s face in time to see his eyes flutter open and a grimace flicker at his mouth. “How do you feel? Want me to call Snow?”

Barry shook his head and gave Len’s hand a tug. “Come here,” he whispered.

Len stood and hovered over Barry. “What is it?”

Barry sighed and tugged again. “Cuddle me, Len. I’m hurt.”

Len’s heart stuttered but he gave Barry a wry look. “You shouldn’t move. And that bed’s too small for both of us.”

Barry pouted and gave him puppy eyes. “Don’t want to fight anymore, Len. Want you to hold me.”

Len couldn’t stop the soft smile that lifted his lips. He carefully shifted Barry to the side a few inches and kicked off his boots. He tossed his parka over the chair and eased onto the bed before adjusting Barry so he was mostly laying on Len. He wrapped his arms around Barry’s leaner form and sighed. “I don’t want to fight, either.”

Barry closed his eyes and sighed softly. “I’m sorry.” Barry pressed his face into Len’s chest. “I was an asshole tonight. I shouldn’t have left like I did.”

Len sighed and stroked Barry’s back. “I shouldn’t have pushed you about moving in together.”

Barry tensed for a couple of seconds before relaxing against him. “It scares me,” he admitted in a whisper. “Letting someone… letting _you_ in that far. What if it goes bad? What if it pushes us apart more?”

Len pressed his cheek to Barry’s temple. “What if it makes us closer?” he countered. “What if we’re happy?” He could feel his shirt growing damp. When had Barry learned to cry silently? His heart broke over the discovery.

“I don’t think I can lose you a second time,” the younger man confessed faintly.

“You won’t,” Len promised. “Barry, there is nothing, no problem, no argument, no force on this Earth or any other, that could make me give you up a second time.”

They laid there in silence for a long time. Len closed his eyes and focused on Barry’s breathing, letting the steady rhythm relax him. He was just about to drift off when Barry pressed a kiss to Len’s chest. “Okay. As soon as I’m healed, we’ll start looking for a place.”

“Really?” Len asked, drowsily.

Barry nodded. “A place we both like.”

“Okay,” Len smiled.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Len move in together.

Len glanced at Barry over his shoulder as they unpacked the last of their clothing. Barry was filling the dresser while Len hung things in the closet. They had found a nice place just outside the city limits. The building was a large three story brownstone that housed three spacious flats. They had signed the lease on the top flat almost immediately upon seeing it. It had two bedrooms, a large main room, one full bathroom and a half that doubled as a laundry room, a small dining nook and nice sized kitchen. There was a small balcony off the main room with rooftop access. 

Most of their furniture had been brought over from Barry’s apartment. The only things Len had brought, other than his clothes and weapons, were two paintings he had acquired legally, one not-so-legally obtained statuette, a couple boxes of books and a small velvet box currently hiding in the left pocket of his parka. Len hung up a pair of slacks and glanced over at Barry again. He hated how nervous he felt. In the five months since he had left the Waverider and returned to Central, he and Barry had been completely platonic. A few chaste kisses were the extent of their physical relationship. Now they were going to be living together. Sharing a home. Maybe even a bed.

They hadn’t talked about sleeping arrangements while looking for a place. It was this great big elephant in the room that neither had acknowledged yet. He watched Barry slide a drawer shut and zip up the empty duffel bag. Len breathed in slowly and turned to look at Barry fully. 

“Should I make up the bed in the other bedroom?” he asked carefully.

Barry turned and looked at him with a hint of wariness. “Do you want to?” he countered.

Len looked at him hopefully. “No,” he answered. “But we agreed to no sex. I don’t want to assume anything. And I’m not pressuring you, Scarlet. I just… I want to be close to you,” he said tentatively.

Barry sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “To be honest, I’ve been deliberately not thinking about it. I guess I just hoped we’d just… sort of fall asleep together,” he admitted. He walked around the bed to stand in front of Len. Barry stared at him for a few stressful seconds before he lifted his hands and cupped Len’s face. “I’m tired, Len,” he whispered solemnly. “I’m tired of feeling on guard. I’m tired of not trusting you. I’m tired of sleeping alone. I want us to work so badly.”

Len wrapped his arms around Barry tightly, but before he could kiss Barry, the younger man continued in a more confident tone. “I love you, Len. I never stopped. No matter what I did, no matter where I went, I was never free of you. Please,” he begged, eyes bright with tears, “please don’t ever leave me again. It would kill me if you did.”

Len forced himself to use his words instead of just kissing Barry breathless. “I have never loved anyone but you,” he said, voice cracking with the heaviness of his emotions. “I will never love anyone but you. I will never let you go again, Barry Allen.” Len shifted only far enough away to grab at his parka. He pulled the little box free and took a deep breath. “I want everything, Barry. I’ve been carrying this around with me ever since I was resurrected. From the moment I was pulled from the time stream, I’ve wanted nothing more than to be with you again. To have our relationship back.”

Barry’s eyes were locked onto the ring box, hope and disbelief warring within his hazel irises. “Are you asking me...” His voice died off, his fingers twitching nervously against Len’s skin.

“Marry me,” Len begged softly. 

Barry’s left hand fell away from Len’s cheek and hovered, shaking, above the ring box. He took a steadying breath and spread his fingers out straight. “Yes,” he whispered.

Len almost dropped the box in his hurry to open it. He pulled the silver and gold braided band free and immediately slid it onto Barry’s hand. “Perfect,” he said thickly.

Barry quickly surged forward and kissed Len deeply. The ring box fell to the floor as Len immediately began pulling at Barry’s sweatshirt. By the time they took the two steps to the bed they were both half undressed. They tumbled down onto the mattress as they kicked free of their jeans. Barry started to spread his legs for Len, but Len quickly sat back and shook his head. 

“I want you inside me,” he growled. “I need it, Scarlet. I need you to take control of me. I need you to pin me down.”

Barry searched Len’s eyes carefully before nodding. Len had rarely ever let anyone top him. He was too much of a control freak for that. Barry had never minded, honestly. He reached up and stroked Len’s cheek gently. “Are you sure?”

Len nodded. “I’m sure.”

Barry leaned up and kissed him before rolling them over. He reached for the bottle of lube in the box by the bed and placed it on the pillow. “I love you,” he said softly. 

Len gripped Barry’s hips tightly. “Love you, too. Never letting you go, Scarlet.”

* * *

“I could stay,” Len said calmly, watching Barry chop onions for the chili he was making.

Barry shook his head. “You should go.”

“Tired of me already?” Len (half) teased.

Barry dropped the onions into the pot and washed his hands before turning and leaning back against the counter. “A test,” he reminded the former thief. “You don’t trust that we can make it work apart.”

Len flinched slightly, knowing Barry was right. It had taken five months for them to get past their doubts and move in together. Another two months to feel confident enough to thoroughly discuss the past and work through their remaining hurts and doubts. They were in a good place, now. The nightmares were few and getting farther apart. His jealousy had toned down, even though they both knew it would never fade completely. Sara had contacted him two days ago. She needed his skills as a thief to correct a couple of time aberrations. 

He had to admit, he missed planning and executing a heist. Playing anti-hero was all well and good (and it was slowly building more trust between him and Barry’s family) but it lacked the thrill of stealing. The problem was, he’d have to be gone at least five weeks in order for the timeline to settle once the Legends messed with it. 

“Len,” Barry said gently, walking over and enveloping him in a hug, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here, waiting on you to come home.”

Len slowly relaxed and wrapped his arms around Barry’s waist. “You better be,” he grumbled. “And I will. I will come back to you.”

Barry laughed softly and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “Now, we have about an hour before Jesse, Harry and Lisa drop by for dinner.”

Len grinned wickedly. “However will we pass the time?”

* * *

As soon as he walked through the door, he was swept up in tender kiss. All the fear, the anxiety, the worry that had settled under his skin like an itch he couldn’t relieve, vanished.

“Welcome home.”

No words had ever sounded better.


End file.
